Top 5 From the Asia League

In a continuation from my first five, I am going to round this out to make it an even ten. As said before, I got this idea after finding Jamie McLennan's blog from his experiences in the Asia League last year. His posts are absolutely hilarious! [Read them here].

By the way, I do remember when McLennan played for the Wild. I had no idea what comedian he was. Check this video out:



Now for my Top 5:

5. Say What?

I always get questions from people about the communication in international hockey. I let them know that English is very important, and usually someone on the bench can speak English. Usually the captain of the team can speak pretty good English, too. In the Asia League, each team is allowed a certain number of imports, so any given team has 3-4 North Americans on the team, who do the bulk of the communicating. So, all in all it works out pretty well (unless you have some type of "goofy" situation break out, where you have to discuss multiple penalty situations to those on the scorer's table -- they sometimes have a hard time when I announce goals and assists (I was told by the Japanese that my English pronunciations are hard to understand -- like the number "twelve" is spoken differently, and that even the way we say "first" and "fast" are confusing...oh well.)

I do have a funny story of speaking English that did not involve the Asia League. I was in Torino, Italy, working the World University Games, and I was lining a game with a Russian referee (who was a comic in his own right) and a Russian linesman. The teams playing were Japan and Italy. The Russian Ref, Gorsky, called a penalty shot against Japan. So, the Italian guy goes in on a penalty shot, dekes the goalie, and simultaneously biffs it by doing a "toe pick", which wipes out the goalie, the net, the whole works. The puck did cross the line before this "yard sale" and it didn't affect the goalies ability to defend the shot. Well...the Japan captain came over immediately to complain to Gorsky. He was announcing the goal at the penalty bench. Gorsky just kept saying (in my best Russian voice immitation), "GOAL" and would point like giving the goal signal. The Japanese captain kept on, but Gorsky just kept saying, "GOAL" and pointing. Finally, the exasperated captain says, "WHO HERE SPEAK ENGLISH?!?" Gorsky says, "No one. GOAL!" I tried not to pee my pants laughing, but I giggled for the next five minutes of the game.

4. Stand-By Stanley might just do that and Only That

When I had the chance to go to Shanghai, China to work a few games, I was told that the stand by ref would be a Korean. Well, I am on a separate flight than the stand by. Fast forward to when I get to my first game. I don't see any equipment bag for the stand by ref. I just think to myself, "maybe things are different here in Asia...maybe he has equipment somewhere else...this isn't the first difference in customs I discovered.

So...after the third game, we are all out at a restaurant, having a few beverages, when I finally have to ask him, "What would you do if I got hurt?" He looks at me quizzically, "Hurt? I don't understand?" I say, "you know...if I hurt my knee or something..." He pulls out his cell phone so he can look at his Korean/English dictionary. After checking out what 'hurt' means, he says, "Oh...injured." So I say, "Yes, injured. What do you do if I get injured? What equipment will you wear?"

He finally says, "I don't understand stand by." WOW!

3. Trying not to Create and International Incident

I couldn't help it anymore...the guy had been dominating the computer for 16 hours straight now! I snapped.

What am I talking about is on my first trip to the Far East, right before I left, wouldn't you know it, but my laptop crashed. There was no way I was going to get it fixed before I left town. So I was at the mercy of using the guest computer at the hotel. Thank God there was one always readily available at the hotel in Seoul, South Korea, where I was stationed for 2 weeks. The problem happened when I got to Shanghai, China. The problem wasn't the hotel (it was an extremely nice, new, modern Howard Johnson hotel), the problem wasn't the hotel staff (they were so-so in understanding my English), the problem was the chain-smoking guy, sucking on tea, playing internet poker for 16 straight hours on the only guest computer at the hotel!!! I checked at about 10 pm one night...he was there. I checked in the morning after I awoke about 8 a.m., he was still there. I continued to check every couple of hours throughout the day...HE WAS STILL THERE, sucking down one cigarette after another, paying ABSOLUTELY no attention to the fact that I was waiting to use the computer. Finally about 5 pm that day I checked again. I told them I wanted to use that computer. The nice little Chinese gal told me it was being used. I said, "He's been using it for 16 hours!" She nodded that 'yeah, she knew.' AND THEN I SAW THAT HE CHECKED IN FOR THAT COMPUTER AT 4 PM THE PREVIOUS DAY. HE HAD BEEN ON THE THING FOR OVER 24 HOURS!

That's when I snapped. I said, "Is that the guest computer for the hotel or his?!? This isn't right! What right does he have to tie up a computer for over 24 hours?!? What is he doing at the hotel anyway to be on a computer for over 24 hours?!? I just want to use it for 15 minutes!" She saw that I was pissed. She got some other gal to come into the room, and the whole time "Smokey the Poker Player" was just puffing away, totally ignoring the death glare that I was giving him. He knew darn well I was talking about him.

They led me to another room and had me use another computer. Unbelievable! (not sure how long "Smokey" stayed on that computer).

2. Mi-Ka-Ta!

The Japanese love their Karaoke. When I was in Hokkaido, Japan (don't know if you know your Japanese geography at all, but this is the northern most island, and the temps/climate there is very similar to what we experience in Minnesota -- it is also their hotbed of hockey, too), I was there for one week and went out for Karaoke 4 nights! It was a hoot! I had so much fun and so did they!

The two American songs they liked that I sung the most were The Beatle's "All You Need is Love" and Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say, I Love You" ( they told me to sing that song, since it was really popular at one time...who woulda thunk?). Although, I did teach the nuances and joys of singing, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond.

Well, the one song they sung every night was the following song by Yajima Beauty Salon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB7J-lDhRmw

(you don't have to watch the whole thing, but I learned some of the hand gestures, the WOW WOW parts, the MI KA TA parts and the PAO PAOPAO parts. Now that's funny...I don't care who you are!

1. The Hosts with the Most!

Overall, the trips over there were fantastic. I can't say enough about how well I was treated. They took me out to great restaurants, escorted me all over the place, really watched out for my well being and comforts. I had awesome hosts in all three countries: Korea, China and Japan. I am really grateful for the opportunity and the opportunity to associate with such great people. It just makes me want to say, "Thank You"

or...Kamsahamnida (Korean)

or...Dommo Arrigato (Japan)

or...Xie Xie (shay-shay) (China)